Please donate to make sure things keep running here.
|Work in Progress|
Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread
Number of posts: 1695
Registration date: 2010-06-21
|Subject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread Fri Jun 17, 2011 7:28 am|| |
no but your last one was weak as hell, i got balls of steel
Number of posts: 1695
Registration date: 2010-06-21
Number of posts: 2341
Location: Rumford, Maine
Registration date: 2009-09-25
|Subject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread Fri Jun 17, 2011 7:30 am|| |
|An ignore button...Would be...just great. |
Oval Ranking 288 of 48814
Road Ranking 2189 of 50849Solstice Racing Proline Cup Series Season 3 ChampionSolstice Racing ASA Indycar Series Oval ChampionSolstice Racing Road of Champions Class B Champion27 NR2003 League Race winsLatest:
4/4/13 Solstice Proline @ Pocono
Last edited by Jake Ace on Fri Jun 17, 2011 7:33 am; edited 1 time in total
USAR Late Model Racer
Number of posts: 322
Registration date: 2008-12-11
|Subject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread Fri Jun 17, 2011 7:32 am|| |
|An ignore button...Would be...just great. |
There is one. You're too stupid to find it.
Number of posts: 1695
Registration date: 2010-06-21
|Subject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread Fri Jun 17, 2011 7:33 am|| |
Bring it on KAuto, i havent even brought out the big guns yet
USAR Late Model Racer
Number of posts: 245
Registration date: 2011-06-09
|Subject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread Fri Jun 17, 2011 7:35 am|| |
|no but your last one was weak as hell, i got balls of steel|
Are you sure.
Number of posts: 1695
Registration date: 2010-06-21
|Subject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread Fri Jun 17, 2011 7:35 am|| |
oh im fucking positive, ive got some tricks up my sleeves
USAR Late Model Racer
Number of posts: 245
Registration date: 2011-06-09
|Subject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread Fri Jun 17, 2011 7:38 am|| |
âGod, you are such a perv.â She punched me on the chest and walked back to her bed.
âYeah, well, so are you.â I said, then as she turned back to glare at me I quickly lunged in and yanked her boxers down around her knees. Cassie shrieked and tried to hide herself as she reached to pull them up. I was still able to get a pretty good look. She didnât have much hair on her crotch. Her PENIS was semi-hard and I could see that she had a small set of balls hanging down below it. It was pretty weird seeing a package on the body of a sixteen year old girl, but I was starting to get used to weird things.
âYou are *so* dead!â She growled.
I decided to make a pre-emptive strike while she was still dealing with her underwear. I tackled her backwards onto the bed, managing to gain the upper hand as she kicked and growled at me. After a quick but frenzied struggle I was able to flip her onto her stomach and pin her hands.
Resting my weight on top of her, I started wondering what I could do to embarrass her and pay her back a little. The fact that Iâd managed to pin her on her own bed while she was half-naked was probably pretty humiliating by itself. I wasnât in much of a hurry to decide. Rare victories like this needed to be savored. Also, her butt was rubbing against me as she tried to push me off, and it felt kinda good.
âLet go!â She twisted underneath me and I felt my dick slip between the cheeks of her ass. It lay trapped between us, pointed up at the small of her back.
Sometimes I called her âAssieâ because her rear end was kinda big, but mostly just because the name pissed her off. Right now though it was nothing to joke about. Her boxers were only covering her ass halfway and the warmth and softness of her butt was feeling really good even through my shorts. I had an idea that I shouldnât be doing thisâŚit seemed almost like rape. It was the only position I could keep her down in though, and I knew that the second I let up she would kill me.
Just then I noticed that sheâd mostly stopped struggling. She was still twisting around a little but it didnât seem like she was trying very hard to knock me off. Mostly it was just making my dick rub against her ass even more. After a few moments it dawned on me that she might be doing it on purpose. Iâm normally a bit quicker on the uptake, but the idea that Cassie could somehow *want* me to dry hump her butt just seemed crazy.
Crazy or not, it was starting to feel pretty damn nice. I decided to risk seeing if I could make it even better. She didnât move as I let one of her hands go and worked my shorts open. I pulled her boxers down a little more, then moved back into place with my dick laying on her naked butt. I noticed quickly that the feel of skin on skin was much, much better. I moved my hips a little so that my cock rubbed slowly back and forth on the crack of her ass. I didnât know if this was what actual sex was like, but it felt awesome.
I got so lost in the sensations of pushing against her butt that I didnât realize I was about to cum until it was already happening. I couldnât move, or even think as my stuff started launching out all over her back. Iâd played with myself plenty of times, but this was the most intense cum Iâd ever had. I moved off of her when it finally stopped, suddenly feeling ashamed of myself. Cassieâs back and shoulders were streaked and messy with my sperm. Not seeing anything else to clean up with, I used my shorts to mop it up. She was still laying there quietly like she had been the whole time. The only way I knew she was even alive was from her steady breathing.
I sat back on the bed, unable to keep from staring at her butt. There was just something about the curves of her hips and ass that was really hot. If I hadnât already known she was âdifferent,â there would have been no way to tell from this angle. Acting on a sudden urge, I reached over and gently squeezed her ass with both hands. I kinda expected her to yell at me, but all I heard was something that sounded like a quiet moan. Wondering how far she would let me explore, I slowly pushed her cheeks apart until I could see her little pink butthole. It looked clean and was glistening slightly with sweat. Feeling strangely drawn to it, I moved my hand down and rubbed it lightly with my thumb. She gasped and I felt her jump a little, but she didnât say anything or push me away. I rubbed it again, then took my hand away and stood up. Maybe she liked me touching her butt, but I had no idea what I was supposed to do down there.
Cassie rolled over on her back and looked at me. Her dick was very stiff and lying back against her stomach, the tip all shiny and wet-looking. I could see the shapes of her nipples poking against her bra. She just laid there watching me as I sat down next to her and put my hand around her cock.
A few days later she came home looking upset. Iâd been planning to mess with her again and see what happened, but one look at her face told me that itâd be a bad idea. She stormed past me up to her room and slammed the door behind her. A little while later I was distracted from the TV by a crashing sound from upstairs. It sounded like Cassie was screaming and throwing things. Sheâd thrown hissy fits before sometimes, but this one sounded bad.
I wondered what was wrong but I knew better than to bother her then. She would probably just try to bounce a lamp off my head or something. I waited until the noise quieted down, then climbed the stairs and went to her room. I couldnât hear anything on the other side of the door. I knocked. No answer. I knocked harder.
âGo away,â she answered. Her voice sounded faint and shaky.
Never one to obey orders, I slowly opened the door. Her room was a mess and the mirror over her dresser was busted. I started to worry that sheâd hurt herself. She was lying sideways on the bed and clutching a pillow over her face. Her body was shuddering like she was crying, but she wasnât making a sound.
âAre you ok?â I asked. When she didnât answer, I made my way through the wreckage and sat down next to her. I stayed there for a few minutes until she stopped crying and looked at me from under the pillow. Her eyes were wet and red.
âI thought I told you to go away,â she said, wiping her cheeks. She didnât seem to have the strength left to even glare at me.
âYeah, but I heard a bomb go off and wanted to see if anyone survived.â
âFunny.â Cassie rolled over with her back toward me and curled up into a ball. âNow leave me alone.â
âSo are you ok?â It felt like a dumb question, but it was the only one I could think of.
âYou want to talk or anything?â
âFine.â At least Iâd tried. I was sure Iâd find out more about it later when mom got home.
She didnât get in until around midnight. Cassie waited up for her. I was supposed to be asleep, but I snuck out of my room and listened from the top of the stairs as they talked in the kitchen.
Apparently Cassieâs old boyfriend had gotten pissed off for some reason and started blabbing to everyone that Cassie had a dick. A guy came up behind her at lunch and grabbed her crotch to see for himself. I knew she wore an athletic supporter to hide the bulge, but if heâd gotten a good feel it wouldâve been easy for him to tell what she had down there. Cassie had elbowed him in the gut, then heâd shoved her and called her a freak. Some other kids stepped in before it went any further, but the asshole and his friends had hounded her all day.
âNow everybody looks at me like Iâm a mutant or something,â I heard Cassie say. âI hate this body! I hate it!â She started crying again and I heard mom trying to comfort her. I hadnât really thought about it much before, but I realized Cassie was pretty unhappy about being different. It pissed me off those guys had messed with her like that. I wished I was older and bigger so I could do something about it.
Whatever mom said to her seemed to help though. They started heading upstairs, so I ran and got back into bed. They talked a little more in Cassieâs room and then said goodnight. I pretended to be asleep as mom came in to check on me. She sat down on the bed next to me and I felt her run her hand over my hair.
âGo easy on your sister, Bobby.â She told me. âThings are hard for her right now.â I wondered if she knew I was awake. Probably. She always seemed to know. She kissed me goodnight and then left.
I waited until I was sure sheâd gone to bed, then I got up and went down the hall. I opened the door to Cassieâs room as quietly as I could and slipped inside. I followed the sound of her soft breathing over to her bed and slid quickly in under the blanket, nestling up against her like Iâd used to do when we were little. She tensed up for a second when I put my arms around her, but then relaxed again. It felt really good holding her like that. I hoped it felt nice for her too.
The next thing I knew mom was waking us up for school. She didnât seem mad that Iâd gone to sleep in my sisterâs bed. If anything she seemed to think it was cute. Cassie didnât want to go, but mom reminded her about the talk they had last night and Cassie eventually went. I felt bad for her. Iâd had my share of teasing in school and Iâd hated it, but what she was going through was probably a million times worse. I hoped weâd still have a house left after she got home that day.
When Cassie did get home I was surprised to see that she was in a decent mood. She wasnât exactly happy, but she seemed more like her normal self. So normal in fact that I couldnât resist the urge to snap her with a damp rag when we were cleaning up the kitchen. She was leaning over and her ass was just too tempting a target. The cloth impacted against her butt with a startlingly loud crack. She yelped and spun around with murder in her eyes. I ran, laughing like a maniac the whole time.
She cornered me in the living room before I could make the stairs. I tried to fake her out and jump past, but she caught me and tackled me down onto the couch. I did my best to escape, but her wet hands gave her an unfair advantage when grabbing my clothes. They also hurt when she pinned me face down with her knees in my back and started spanking me hard on the butt.
âIf youâre gonna act like a brat, youâre gonna get treated like one,â she said, her voice sounding stern though I was sure that she had a huge grin on her face. It wasnât really a typical spanking either. She rested her hand on my butt for a little while in between smacks, sometimes even squeezing it a bit. It was embarrassing and the spanking part hurt, but the more gentle stuff felt kinda good. After a minute she suddenly reached underneath me and put her hand on my crotch like she was checking to see if I was hard. And if course, I was.
âPerv.â She gave me another hard whack on the ass, then let me up and went back to the kitchen. I followed slowly, my rear end smarting and my dick hard as a rock. I watched Cassieâs butt as she walked, suddenly feeling more horny than I ever had in my life. She went back to the sink and a few seconds later I moved up from behind and grabbed her, my dick pressing against her ass. Even though I hadnât planned it that way, my hands ended up right on her boobs. They felt warm and heavy and really nice in my palms.
âStop it.â Cassie pulled my hands off her chest and wriggled away toward the counter.
I was way too turned on to listen. I caught her and put my hands back on her tits, squeezing them a little as I started rubbing against her like Iâd done on her bed. I felt like I was going to cum even with our clothes still on. I kept expecting her to stop me again, but she didnât. She just leaned forward, putting her hands on the counter as I played with her boobs and slowly humped her butt. After only a few minutes I started to cum, feeling a rush of sticky heat fill my underwear. I rested up against her for a bit, feeling her boobs moving slowly up and down in my hands as she breathed. It felt really neat.
Suddenly she turned around and pushed me down on my knees. I watched as she quickly undid her pants, her stiff cock falling out almost right away. I didnât hesitate. I started sucking it, hearing Cassie groan softly as she flexed her hips toward my mouth. I reached around and started feeling her butt as I sucked on as much of her dick as I could. The look on her face told me that she was really enjoying it, and I started to wonder what having my own sucked would feel like. She put her hand on my head and ran her fingers roughly through my hair, then a few seconds later her cock got even harder and started squirting in my mouth. It didnât taste as gross as I remembered, and I decided to swallow it and see what would happen. It didnât kill me. Cassie moaned and leaned back against the countertop, and I kept sucking her gently until she pushed me away. She gave me a weird little smile as I stood up, then smacked me again on the butt.
âOkay,â she said, suddenly looking serious again. âStop fucking around and finish your chores.â
A month went by. Cassie and I messed around a few more times but we didnât really do anything different. Then it was my fourteenth birthday. Cassie had hinted earlier that she was going to give me something âspecial.â Of course with her that could mean anything, so I wasnât sure if I should be excited or afraid. I ended up forgetting about it entirely until the night of my birthday.
Everyone had gone to bed. I was almost asleep when I heard the quiet noise of someone opening my door. I rolled over on my back to look, and In the dim blue glow from my clock I could see it was Cassie. She didnât say anything, she just sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled the covers down to my knees. I was wearing only a pair of briefs. She reached out and put her hand flat on my stomach, resting it there for a second before running it slowly down along my thigh. I didnât know what she was planning, but the way she was touching me was quickly getting me hard. She seemed to notice and moved her hand up over my crotch, rubbing my hardon lightly through my underwear. It felt great.
Cassie tugged my briefs down and leaned over, seeming to look at my dick for a while. Then I held my breath as she suddenly grabbed my cock and lowered her head down to it, sliding it almost all the way into her mouth before she started moving her lips and sucking. Oh. My. God. It felt so warm and wet. My whole body started trembling and I felt my hips pushing up like I was trying to hump her mouth. I hadnât imagined that anything could feel so good. It only took her a minute or so to make me cum, and all I could do was lay there and gasp as I felt my dick jump and start exploding in her mouth. Cassie slowed down but didnât stop. I couldnât tell if she was swallowing it or not, but she didnât take her mouth away even after I was done. I was still so hard it almost hurt. When it was obvious that I wasnât going soft she started blowing me again, holding my cock around the base while she rubbed my thigh with her free hand. I watched her head bob up and down, thinking how incredibly hot it was that she was sucking my dick. This time I lasted a lot longer and was able to enjoy it more. When I came in her mouth again it was over with quicker than the first time, but it felt even more intense.
Cassie let go of my cock and sat up, wiping her chin with the back of her hand. She looked at me and grinned as she smacked me lightly on the thigh.
âHappy Birthday, Knob,â she whispered.
âThanks.â I meant it. That was easily the best present Iâd ever gotten. She threw the covers back over me and left. I fell asleep almost immediately.
More time passed. I started becoming friends with a girl I knew at school. Her name was Gail and she was kind of shy and nerdy, but in a cute way. We were hanging out more and even went over to each others' houses a few times, though it still seemed like just a âfriendsâ thing. There were plenty of times when we were alone together but I was too nervous to try anything. I wasnât sure that she wanted me to anyway.
Then Gail mentioned that her parents were taking a trip and wouldnât be home all weekend. She seemed even shyer than usual when she asked if Iâd like to come over on Friday night after they left. I think I said yes, though my pulse was suddenly pounding so hard that it drowned everything out. My imagination was racing all week long as I wondered what she had in mind. I wasnât really expecting to get in her pants or anything. Despite what had already happened with Cassie I wouldâve been happy just making out with a girl, even though I was worried Iâd mess it up somehow.
By Friday afternoon I was so nervous I could barely keep still. I was sitting on my bed watching the clock when a sudden sound from my doorway make me jump. It was Cassie, standing there with a smirk on her face.
âLemme guess,â she said, âyouâre sneaking over to your girlfriendâs house tonight.â My sister leaned up against the door and crossed her arms, the teasing grin never leaving her face. âWant me to buy you some condoms? Lube maybe?â
âWeâre just friends, ok?â
âYeah, right. Thatâs why your hands are shaking. What, afraid sheâs gonna molest you and take your precious virginity?â
I glared at her, hoping her head would melt.
âWell fine,â she said, straighening up and turning to leave. âI *was* going to offer you some advice, but if youâre just gonna be a little douche, forget it.â
I sat there for a few minutes as I fought a painful battle with my ego. When it finally surrendered, I got up and went to Cassieâs room where she was busy folding clothes.
âWhat advice?â I asked, hoping she wasnât just messing with my head.
âOh nothing. I forgot youâre fourteen now. Iâm sure you know everything there is to know about girls.â
I bit my tongue before I could say something stupid, like how she wasnât exactly an absolute expert on girls either, what with her cock and all. âHey, I know plenty. I just donât wanna do anything thatâll gross her out. If something does happen, I mean.â I hesitated, feeling lame. âI havenât exactly made out with a lot of girls or anything.â
Cassie looked at me. âYou ever even kiss before?â
I stared at the floor, embarrased.
âDonât sweat it, Knob. Its not hard. Just do it like they do in the movies.â I looked up and saw a wicked grin slowly spreading over her face. âHelp me fold these and maybe Iâll show you a few things.â
I helped. When everything was folded neatly and put away, Cassie sat on the bed and motioned me to sit down next to her. I sat down, wondering exactly what it was that she planned to show me.
âOkay, the main thing is to start off slow.â She said, moving in and pulling my arm around her shoulders. âDonât get too grabby and stuff, thatâll freak her out. Just get close and the rest kinda takes care of itself.â
I slid myself over further until her body was pressed snugly against mine, my hand resting on her upper arm. She smelled good. Cassie lifted her face up toward me and closed her eyes, her lips only inches away. I wasnât sure how far she wanted to take this, but the opportunity was definitely there.
âThis is the part where you kiss her, dumbass,â she said quietly.
I leaned in toward her, keeping my eyes open to watch her reaction as I touched my mouth to hers. Her lips felt incredibly soft and warm. She didnât respond right away, but after a few seconds she started kissing me back. After a minute or so she opened her mouth and I felt her tongue pushing against my lips. I let it in and started chasing it with mine, my dick getting hard almost instantly. Kisses like that had always seemed gross when I saw other people doing it, but my opinion was quickly changing now that it was happening to me.
Cassie was slowly edging herself into my lap as our kissing got hotter. I pulled her closer against me, feeling her tits pressing firmly against my chest. She only kissed me harder and slid her hands around my waist.
It suddenly occurred to me that I was making out with my own sister. My response to that was to slide my hands down and grab her ass firmly with both hands. Cassie moaned and started sucking on my bottom lip. I got the feeling that she wasnât playing around. I wasnât exactly sure what was happening here, but I did know that I liked it.
After a few more minutes I let go of her ass and moved my hands up front. She moaned again as I palmed her boobs. I squeezed them and she started grinding herself slowly against my lap. I could feel the bulge of her hardon rubbing up against mine, and for some reason that made me hornier than ever. I broke the kiss and lowered her down onto the bed. Iâd seen this part in movies before too, the part where they get naked and fuck like crazy.
Straddling her, I grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it up. She surprised me a little by raising her arms and helping me take it off. With that out of the way, I reached under her back with the intent of taking her bra off too, but I couldnât seem to unhook it for the life of me. Finally Cassie did it, and the second it came loose I caught her naked boobs in my hands and gave them a firm squeeze. It was my first time feeling them without her bra in the way, and they felt great. Warm and soft and firm all at the same time. I leaned in and kissed her again, feeling her nipples getting harder each time they brushed against my fingers. I suddenly wondered what theyâd feel like in my mouth, and I decided to find out. I moved from sucking on Cassieâs tongue to sucking on one of her nipples. She gasped and moaned softly as I switched back and forth from one to the other. She seemed to really like what I was doing, but I was too damn horny to concentrate on it for long.
I undid her jeans and pulled them off. Her boxers joined them on the floor a few seconds later. I was a little surprised that she wasnât trying to stop me. Cassie usually liked to make things difficult, but this time she was just laying there with her eyes closed. Naked. Iâd never seen her fully naked before, and I had to stop for a minute just to take it all in. Her big firm boobs were rising and falling quickly with her breathing. I moved my eyes down her flat stomach and over the wide curves of her hips. Her dick was stiff and sticking almost straight up. I ran my hands slowly up and down over her smooth legs, suddenly at a loss for what to do next. She was so sexy that I wanted to touch all of her at once. I also had an incredibly strong urge to fuck her, but I couldnât. So I did the only thing I could think of. I turned her over and undid my pants. I slid them down and off, then lay on top of her with my body pressed firmly down on hers. My dick nestled right up between the firm cheeks of her ass like it belonged there. Her naked skin felt awesome underneath me as I started humping against her butt.
Cassie was moving too, grinding her big ass up at me in little circles. It felt great, but I still wanted more. Then I got an idea. I gathered up a bunch of my spit and rubbed it over both my dick and the cleft of her ass. When I started moving again, the slipperyness felt much better. After a minute I decided to try something different. I took hold of my dick and started rubbing it up and down firmly over the length of her crack, sometimes poking it in to see what sheâd do. She didnât say anything, though she was breathing really fast and heavy. I applied a little more pressure, really liking how it felt to have the head of my dick wedged firmly between her cheeks.
Suddenly, I felt a sensation like something pushing back against the tip of my cock. I eased off a little and then pressed in again. Cassie groaned softly and something seemed to nip at the head of my dick. It took me a second to realize what it was. Her butthole. I froze for a moment. I knew that you could have sex that way too, but it was something I never imagined myself doing. A weird thrill shot through me, and I just had to see what would happen if I pushed a little more. She groaned again and I felt the pressure against the head of my cock increase.
âWaitâŚâ Cassie said, her voice sounding unusually husky. âTop drawerâŚVaseline.â
I jumped up and went to her dresser. Sure enough, there was a tube of vaseline in there. It was actually some kid of lotion, but it was good enough for me. My hands were shaking a little as I squirted some out and rubbed it all over my dick. I rubbed some more into the crack of her butt and quickly got back on top of her. I found the spot again and pushed slowly, this time feeling the pressure slowly spread around the head of my dick. It was going in. Then she clamped down on me and I almost came right there. After a second she relaxed again, and I felt my cock pushing a little deeper inside. It felt completely awesome. Her butthole kept clenching at my dick like it didnât want it there. Cassie was gasping and digging her fingers into the sheets. For a second I wondered if it hurt, but then I felt my pubic bone come to rest against the soft skin of her butt and realized that I was all the way inside. Balls deep in her ass.
Instinct took over, and I grabbed her by the shoulders and started fucking her. It was so intense that I forgot about being gentle or anything else, the only thought in my head was the feeling of her butt squeezing down around my cock. Cassie squealed and squirmed underneath me, her voice alternating from low grunts to high-pitched squeaks. She might have been trying to push me off her, but by then I was too far gone. I felt her ass grabbing at my dick and her body shuddering underneath me, and with a final thrust I pushed in deep and started cumming harder than I ever had before in my life.
I shuddered, my cock jerking spastically in the tight grip of her butt. As the last pulses faded I fell limp on top of her body, my head spinning. She was panting and groaning softly, the muscles in her ass still trying to push me out. I started feeling guilty at how Iâd lost control and pulled out of her as gingerly as I could. I checked my dick, feeling relieved when I didnât find any blood or poop on it. I wiped it off with my underwear and sat down next to my sister. She hadnât moved much. I wondered if she was ok. I started rubbing her back a little, hoping she wouldnât hate me. After a few seconds she suddenly rolled over and punched me hard on the arm.
âOw,â I replied.
âWell thatâs what you get. That hurt!â
âSorry.â Looking more closely, I saw that the sheet underneath her and the middle of her stomach were all wet with cum. There was lot of it, and it sure wasnât mine. âDoesnât seem like it hurt *too* bad though.â
She realized what I was looking at and punched me again, but not as hard this time. She got up and grabbed a towel, seeming embarrassed as she wrapped it around herself and headed for the bathroom. I gathered up my clothes and left, still dazed by what just happened. I had another hour left before I was supposed to go over to Gailâs, but I definitely wasnât feeling nervous anymore. When Cassie was done in the bathroom I went in to take a shower. A minute later she opened the door and poked her head in.
âJust donât expect all your dates to go like that, Knob. Youâre not even close to being that smooth.â She left before I could think of a witty response. Anyway she was probably right.
After my shower I went back to my room and got ready. I was still looking forward to seeing Gail, but I was nowhere near as excited as Iâd been earlier. Iâd just had sex with my sister. Real sex. In the butt. Anything else that happened that day was bound to be a letdown.
Number of posts: 4106
Registration date: 2008-12-11
|Subject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread Fri Jun 17, 2011 7:44 am|| |
Cut the picture spam crap. I don't really care if its one or two pictures.
_________________R.I.P. Dan Wheldon #77
3X Retro Series Champion
2X ROC Champion
2X ASA Champion
1X RIROC ChampionAF
: 4-3 DEN
: 4-3 PIT
Top 5's: 248
Top 10's: 391
iRacing wins: 21
Number of posts: 1695
Registration date: 2010-06-21
|Subject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread Fri Jun 17, 2011 7:45 am|| |
GOD DAMNIT CALEB I HAVE NO DEFENSE FUUUU. OH WELL, THAT ALL YOU GOT KAuto, i aint even phased brah
USAR Late Model Racer
Number of posts: 245
Registration date: 2011-06-09
|Subject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread Fri Jun 17, 2011 7:51 am|| |
90% of you faggots are gonna ignore this or not believe it but hopefully this piques the interest of a few of you virgins out there because I'm wasting my time to type it out.
Okay so I'm 24 now.. but this whole story all started back when I was 16 and living in New Hampshire. I got in trouble for selling weed at my school.. not a big deal since my high school was like druggie central.. full of like mega stoners and much harder stuff then weed.. but I mean.. I was stupid and I got caught selling on school ground so it was my fault.
I got suspended for 10 days like is the normal crime but because I had gotten in trouble before, they made me join some stupid rehabilitation program after school hours once a week. It was pretty stupid but a few of my friends were in it, so I dealt with it. If I had skipped the sessions it would have just caused more shit and it wasn't worth the trouble so I'd just go every wednesday and smoke a bowl after with a few of my friends from the group.
Anyways.. about halfway through my time in the rehab sessions they gave me the option of doing a once a week mentor volunteer shit with a group of like mentally challenged kids and kids with crazy diseases and stuff. My best friends little brother was like full-blown mentally challenged and was in the group, and he had been volunteering with them for years so I thought it might be actually kinda smart to quit these stupid sessions and instead do a once a week thing with my pal and his little brother.
So I started in with this group of sick and retarded kids and stuff and it was pretty easy and the kids all had good hearts and stuff so it was fun. But after the first week they assigned me to a little girl.. a total lost cause. I was really hoping they'd stick me in the same group as my friend and his brother but instead I was supposed to buddy up with this girl who's last mentor had gone to juvy for some stupid shit (go figure). Anyways this girl was totally sad, she was like 11 years old.. totally sick.. She had this elephant-man like disease, I don't know what it was but her nose smushed over like half her face and she her cheek bones pushed all up over her left eye so you could barely see it. Her face basically looked like it was made from jello and had been hit with a baseball bat and all smushed up on the left side.
Apparently because of her dissability she was blind in one eye and also deaf on her left side. She was super hard to understand when she spoke.. like most deaf people.. mostly because her mouth was all fucked up like the rest of her face. But she had a good heart. She was only 11 but she joked about her disease and was actually pretty cool about it, not totally depressing and awkward like some of the other kids.
So anyways I got to know this girl pretty well.. we didn't do much, just played chess and checkers and stuff. It was only like 2 hours a week for 2 months so after it was over I didn't have any intention of ever seeing her again. But like I said, she was sweet... never set out to hurt anyone or anything.
So anyways... 5 years later... Just after my 21st birthday.. I'm on summer vacation, just finished my 3rd year at UNH, and I'm home and everything. So one night I go out with a couple friends from high school who were all 21 and had all been gone away at different colleges. We all went out to drinking to catch up and stuff.. we had done this like every summer since school started. It was nice to see high school friends, you know the deal if you've been to college.
Anyways, one of the kids there was my friend with the challenged brother, my best friend from high school. He was going to school in Vermont on some scholarship and I barely ever talked to him anymore but I asked him how his brother was. Apparently he was in some cutesy faux-relationship with Daisy... the girl who I had mentored for the two months. I thought it was cute.. I mean they were both ugly and retarded so its not like the relationship meant anything.. but it was cute in the way that its cute when 2 little 3 year olds are dating cause of their parents or whatever.
But apparently my friend had been talking to this girl and she was like.. in love with me. She was only 11 when we met so it was one of those little girl crushes but apparently she would go on and on about how fun I was and now nice I was and how funny I was. Apparently those 2 months really stuck with her. Anyways.. we were all really drunk so my moron friends were like "dude.. you should totally go fuck the retard."
This was not a good idea.
Normally I would have laughed it off, but I was pretty drunk and I was a pretty dumb kid back then (remember just a few years earlier I was dealing pot in high school). So I asked them how much they'd pay me if I got head from the girl with the deformed face. Of the 5 guys there, 3 said they'd pay me, and each offered to throw in 20 bucks. Not a lot of money, but the novelty of the story would be the best prize.
I don't know why I didn't instantly shrug off the idea, because at this point she was like 16 or 17 years old.. and I was 21. Not to mention she was half blind, half deaf, half mute, and basically an elephant man. But I thought it would be like "epic" or something. So I just wanted to dip my feet in the water and see if I could even talk to this girl after all these years.
So I got my friend to take me along on a "playdate" or whatever they called it with his retarded brother and Daisy. Instantly she recognized me as soon as the three of us showed up at her house to pick her up. She didn't give me a hug or anything and was still super awkward and shy.. but her speech had improved and she had a decent set of tits and had definitely grown a lot taller. I spent most of the car ride sitting next to her in the back of my friends car and asking her about school and small talk and stuff. I made up some phony bullshit story about my girlfriend dumping me and not being able to trust women and she obviously fell for it.. she was 16 and retarded.. I didn't really have to try with her.
So we finally get to the park where the two kids were supposed to hang out, but she just wanted to sit on the bench and talk to me.. she completely ignored my friends little brother. My friend was getting kind of pissed, cause he had been there at the bar when I was joking about trying to get head from her. But I just kept waving him off, so he went and took his little brother to go play somewhere else in the park and left me and Daisy alone.
While we were sitting on the bench I kept up with my stupid girlfriend story and was basically just trying to get this 16 year old girl to have some sort of pity (as fake as it was) for me. Looking back it was completely slimy and disgusting.. but I mean.. thats kind of the point of the story. So eventually after a while I brought up what my friend had said about her always talking about me and maybe "having a crush on me" and she got super embarassed and said we should probably go hang out with Jim and Rick (the two brothers). I told her I was sorry about bringing it up and was just kidding and I took her over to play with them.
After that we all went and got Ice Cream and Pizza and shit and it was super boring cause I figured the whole joke was lost anyways and this girl was too embarrassed to even talk to me or whatever. But as we were dropping her off after the restaurant she put her cell phone number in my phone and told me to text her (not call her cause I couldn't understand her over the phone) if I ever wanted to vent about my ex-girlfriend.
As soon as I got home I texted her, basically rolling on the floor laughing as I was doing it, that "hanging out with her today really took some of the hurt away from my failed relationship". Once again like to remind you guys.. shes 16.. im 21.. and shes basically retarded. She texted back like immediately and was like "oh im so glad.. maybe we can hang out again soon." I texted back "you name the date." And her response was "tomorrow".
At this point I was starting to regret my decision because she actually seemed legitimately interested and I realized that she actually might have a crush on me and this might seriously go somewhere. The whole time I had been playing like a joke, not actually expecting anything to happen. But I figured that if I actually went through with it then I would be moving back to college soon anyways and wouldn't see her or anyone else from my old high school ever again and plus I'd have the most epic story to tell all of my friends and shit.. so I decided to make a meeting time to see this girl and I told her I'd pick her up for a movie the next night.
So next day rolls around and I'm actually getting really excited.. I hadn't really pursued anyone for a while and it can be super fun trying to get laid on a first date. This was obviously a different situation but it was much easier and much more difficult in many ways then going after a normal girl. I picked her up, brought her to the theater, bought her ticket, bought her all the food she wanted, and took her into the theater.
Now my local theater in NH has those liftable armrests, I dont know if every theater has those or not, but they are basically for fat people or couples who wanna get super close during movies. Its an easy way to try and make a move on a girl by seeing her reaction to lifting the armrest separator between your two seats. Partway through the movie (after some fake groans and shoulder readjustments on my part during the first 20 or so minutes), I asked Daisy if she'd mind if I lifted up the armrest, as it was bothering me. She didn't, so I did.. and she moved in closer to me. I seriously started to get hard at that point, not cause she was even remotely attractive, just cause I was so excited and knew I was in for an epic night. I didn't hesitate for a second and put my arm around her and she looked up at me and smiled and laid her head on my chest. I literally looked up at the roof and closed my eyes and just mouthed "oh hell yes". I was so fucking excited.
So here is where the shit gets intense (all you guys who thought this story was lame.. this is the good stuff.. I swear). Now this girl is laying there with her head on my chest, my arm around her, watching the movie, and she makes the next move.. I swear to god. She puts her hand right on my thigh, pretty high up too, like right near my cock. Now those following closely would remember that I had got excited before, and was sporting a nice hard on (not ridiculously stiff, but like maybe 70%), and she put her hand right dead on it. I like jumped for a second and then just tried to play it off as if I didn't even notice and kept watching the movie. She just started rubbing it back and forth tenderly.. as if it was like my shoulder or something. I literally couldn't even believe it. This girl was 16 and dating a retarded kid, I had reason to believe she had 0 sexual experience before.. but maybe I was wrong.. I still don't know to this day. Anyways.. shes just sitting there like stroking my cock through my pants and resting her head on my chest, not saying a word.. still watching the movie. As if nothing is going on.
So after like 2 minutes of this im like rock solid hard. Like 110%. She's basically jerking me off at this point.. and I know she knows it too because my cock is like bursting through my pants. I have no idea what to do now because shes basically just rubbing my crotch for the whole movie. I didn't know whether to make a move, ask her to stop.. or whatever. But luckily she once again, made the next movie. She (not even looking mind you, eyes (or should I say eye) still on the movie) starts unbuttoning my pants and just takes out my dick. Luckily we were in a pretty empty theater, and as any guy whos ever gotten any in a theater knows.. as long as theres no one behind you a theater is a pretty discrete place to get lucky. But now my dick is fully out in the air.. and shes just got her hand balled around it like a fucking golf club..
Id like to take a second and prove I'm not copypastaing or just making shit up or whatever and address you guys and say I know 90% of you think this is bullshit and that its "terrible writing op" and that I say "So anyways" too much.. but for all the time you guys spend on /b/ you should know the difference between fake shit and real shit and you should know that fucked up shit like this really does happen. The fact that this girl was fugly as all sin is just even more of an indicator that shes the type of person who would whip out a guy's dick in a movie theater five years her senior. So back to the story..
So anyways (fuck you jerks), I'm sitting there watching a movie with a half blind, half deaf, half retarded smushed face girl holding my dick out in plain sight. Then... after just holding it for a few seconds, she finally takes her concertration of the movie and just basically attacks my dick with her mouth. She opens as wide as she can (which isn't very wide mind you) and just swallows my fucking cock. Now I'm not huge or even really big or anything.. but I'm not like a little pricked asshole like most of you /b/tards.. Im a good over 9000 inches, but this girl basically swalloed my dick whole. She had almost the entire thing in her mouth, as if shes been doing this for years (or maybe she just has no gag reflex or whatever.. I have no clue). But she just goes to town and starts running a train on my junk.
Now for all of you people who have never had a blowjob.. its hard to describe how they feel. The lips usually are super soft and the mouth is wet and it assuming they do it properly it just feels incredible. I usually cum pretty quick from a good blowjob just cause it feels so good.. but this was like no blowjob I've ever recieved. If you remember correctly half of this girls mouth was effectively scar tissue, so while half of my dick was being blown my soft wet lips, the other half was against this hard dry skin.. literally the weirdest most awkward thing Ive ever felt in my life. It didn't hurt but it basically robbed any pleasure out of the equation, especially since the side of her face that was showing was her fucked up side. It looked like harvey dent and the elephant man's love child was giving me head and it felt so god damn weird.
So since I know I'm not gonna be able to cum just from this ugly 16 year old girl sucking my dick I start to like close my eyes and try to picture some fantasies and shit like that hoping that just the motion from her disgusting face will make me cum and just end this whole thing so I could take her home, never talk to her again, and get 60 bucks from my friends. So I'm sitting there picture hot moms and teachers and stuff that I had scene in various web porn and shit when all of a sudden she starts choking. Now remember.. this girl is half deaf, so she does not know when she is being loud.. but she was being FUCKING LOUD. She starts gagging and choking and making the most horrible noises ever. I push her off my cock, but not before the people sitting two rows in front of me stand up and turn around and see me. I shove my dick back in my pants as they just stare at me.. completely appalled, and my 16 year old freak date is like coughing up spit and mucus and shit into her hand.
I was so embarassed at this point and actually kinda freaked out (I didn't know the legality of this, but was pretty sure that being caught with a 16 year old retard going down on you in public wasn't a good idea). So I grabbed her hand (she was still gagging and shit), and ran her down the stairs towards the lobby. Of course... creepy couple from 2 rows ahead of me starts following.
As I'm darting through the lobby, holding this girls hand.. the guy from the couple in front of me grabs my shoulder and turns me around. He tells me that hes a teacher at the school and knows Daisy and wants to know how old I am and why I was with her at the movie theater. I told him I was 18 and Daisy's boyfriend.. of course he didn't believe a word of it and demanded I stay while he went and grabbed theater management.
Daisy just looked and me and kept saying she was sorry and that she didn't want me to get in trouble and that she'd lie for me and stuff. The theater management came over and asked us to go sit in the office for a bit while they talked to the couple from a few rows ahead of us. Of course... this is when things get fucked up again.
As we are sitting alone in the office, Daisy runs up, slams the door.. locks it, and runs over in front of me and starts taking off her shit. Now remember before I said she had developed some decent tits... they were NOT DECENT at all once she had taken off her shit. She had the most fucking ugly nipples I had ever seen (to coincide with her horrible face) and her tits were basically purple with veins and marks and shit... Almost puke inducing.. like that bad. But of course we are sitting in a random movie theater's office... with the door locked.. and this retarded underage girl is stripping in front of me. This was NOT a good situation for me.
I grabbed her shirt off the floor and told her to stop and that the crew was coming back and that wed get into major trouble but she just kept pushing the shirt away and saying "nooo.. noo... I love you.. I love you." At this point I wanted to like kill myself for ever having thought this would be funny or whatever.. because no matter how this ended.. I was completely and totally fucked.
So I'm trying to get her to cover up her horrendous decayed jack-o-lantern tits when theres a knock on the door and the theater guy is like "open up.. open up or we will call the police."
Of course I can't open up with retard girl half naked so I started shouting for him to hold on. At first I figured they would use a key to open the door or whatever but I later found out he had left the keys inside of the office and the other supervisor/manager was on break at the time.. along with the other set of keys. So the theater guy was banging away at the door.. Daisy had managed to her her pants off along with the shirt, so she was wearing nothing but a gross pair of white underwear, boots and socks, and I was standing there basically shitting my pants.
So bascially my plan that I had formed at the moment (maybe not the best, but I was really strapped for time and couldn't think of anything) was to convince Daisy that I would take her home and have sex with her (I know.. disgusting), if she agreed to get on all her clothes and leave the theater with me. Finally I convinced her and, in tears, she started gathering up her clothes. By this time the theater guy had stopped knocking and I was starting to fear that he had actually called the police.
As soon as Daisy was dressed, I grabbed her hand.. told her a quick fib about how we were boyfriend and girlfriend and I was from Vermont visiting an old family friend and that my name was (some fake shit I had made up, I don't even remember). She was crying but agreed and so I opened the door to greet the theater manager (and in all likelihood a police officer) when I saw another friend from highschool waiting at the door. He whispered to me that his manager was calling the cops and that I should bolt and he wouldn't rat on me. I grabbed my shit and ran to the car out of the managment's emergency exit door, before the manager or anyone else could see me.
Of course.. shit just got worse as soon as I got to my car. Apparently even though I thought shit would finally be okay once I got out of the theater.. Daisy had decided she couldn't wait until we got home, and that she would run back inside and tell on me unless I had sex with her right there in the car.
So there we are in the car, with this girl trying to get me to fuck her right there.. and I'm trying to bargain and reason with her because I cant drive off, as shes got the door wide open, ready to bolt and basically get me arrested. I ask her if she'll settle for me kissing her now and all this shit, or if shell let me drive to her another spot.. and shes not going for any of it. Finally I tell her that Ill get in the back seat and make out with her if she lets me drive to the back of the theater (where theres nothing but like a dumpster and some recycle bins). She agrees and I do so.. At this point I'm willing to do anything to just shut this bitch up and get out of this situation. I put up my all my windows (luckily they are tinted), and go sit with her in the back seat. My plan was just to make out with her for a couple minutes, maybe go to second base and shit.. and then drive her home and put an end to this.
However, my plan didn't really come into frutition as this girl was HELL BENT on having sex with me. First she tore off her shirt again, just like she had in the theater office.. and then got bother her pants and her panties off.
By the way.. side note.. this girl had a horrible face, fucked up senses.. disgusting tits.. but her pussy was actually normal. I would never have expected it, but it actually wasnt all fucked up and distorted like the rest of her body.. Just an interesting fact I thought I'd let you guys know.
So at this point I'm willing to go as far as I have to go to get out of this situation. I'm actually scared that I could go to jail or get arrested or whatever for all sorts of shit so I just want to please this girl, shut her up, and get her home.
So I start making out with her like normal.. and she is like super super aggressive. By the way.. making out with her and her disgusting frog face is even worse than the blowjob was. Its like kissing a girl if half her face was a fucking redwood tree. Half hard-bark, half soft skin.
So anyways, I'm making out with this girl and before I even touch her pussy she starts like moaning like shes having a full blown orgasm. Shes like "ohhhh this" and "oh yeahhh that" and its starting to freak me out cause I'm thinking this girl might actually be completely gone in the head. At this point I realize I'm not gonna get away from this unless I get myself in her pussy somehow, but I didn't have any condoms or anything, not that I even wanted to put my dick in her, but it was just more reason not to. So I start sticking my finger in her and doing my thing.
This was like the only solace that I had from the entire event.. the fact that this girls VAGINA actually felt and looked like a VAGINA, and that she actually responded as most girls do when being fingered. She kept on moaning and shit and I was pretty sure that if I kept it up I could make her cum and get her home without any more fuss. Now my normal routine when fingering a girl is to go from making out to her, to feeling her up, to sucking on her tits and stuff.. kinda keep her excited. But devotees will remember she had tits like shrunken heads.. so I basically was forced to make out with her troll face the entire time.. not fun for me.
So there I am, fingering this gross retarded 16 year old girl in the back of a movie theater parking lot trying to get her to come so I can take her home, ditch her, and never speak to her again to avoid arrest or worse... when she finally orgasms.
This would be the happiest moment of my life. As shes sitting there, she grabs onto my shoulders, tightens her grip like a fucking cougar, and just cums all over my hand. I've never had a girl cum as much as this 16 year old did.. and I probably never will. But there she was.. cumming and moaning in that godawful voice of hers.. and all I could think about was that it was finally over. That was until she looked at me, and I finally saw what was behind her disfigured face. In all my years in New Hampshire, I had never seen a bear this big before. Her eyes locked with mine.. fangs bared, she attacked me. The biggest brown bear I could ever imagine.. as if it was lusting for a giant pot of honey, ripping my face to shreds. Fur went flying in every direction, my hand covered in come was useless to defend with. Daisy-bear started tearing up the seats in my car, I had no choice but to exit the car and look for shelter. Of course it was futile. She dragged me out into the woods behind the theater and had her way with me. To this day I am confined to a wheelchair because of the beating that Daisy inflicted on me.
Number of posts: 2341
Location: Rumford, Maine
Registration date: 2009-09-25
|Subject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread Fri Jun 17, 2011 8:02 am|| |
Oval Ranking 288 of 48814
Road Ranking 2189 of 50849Solstice Racing Proline Cup Series Season 3 ChampionSolstice Racing ASA Indycar Series Oval ChampionSolstice Racing Road of Champions Class B Champion27 NR2003 League Race winsLatest:
4/4/13 Solstice Proline @ Pocono
Number of posts: 325
Location: St. Petersburg, Florida, 2 Hours away from Daytona Int'l Speedway
Registration date: 2008-12-11
USAR Late Model Racer
Number of posts: 245
Registration date: 2011-06-09
|Subject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread Fri Jun 17, 2011 8:04 am|| |
It started out as a joke. My friends had joked about it - even egged each other on to try it. We all laughed at the concept.
Fucking a bowl of cheerios?
The mere idea sent shivers down my spine. The initial roughness in texture. The cold milk shrinking my erect penis.
"What joy could there be in that?" I thought to myself.
After a few weeks nobody brought it up anymore. We'd moved on to different jokes and catch phrases as most groups do. They weren't as funny, but they definitely weren't as weird. We did the usual things and Friday was drinking day. By 2:00 am all four of us were plastered. Jake let out a long sigh after pounding another shot of SoCo and Kevin was loudly snoring on the couch. After a twenty minutes or so it was just Steve and I alone left finishing off our remaining beers.
"Dude hold on," Steve smiled. "What's up man?" I said in my drunken stupor.
Steve sloshed his way over to his refrigerator and removed a gleaming white bowl from the fridge. I instantly knew what it was.
"What the shit fuck is that Steve?" I asked "Fuckin' Cheerios man. You should fuck them!" He seemed excited. "Dude it was just a joke. Don't tell me you..." I was cut off. "Naw dude I didn't fuck no cheerios. But I will bet you $50 you won't do it." I had my excuse. "Fine fucker I'll do it." I was becoming erect already. "How will I know you did it, huh?" I froze up. My erection started to die. "Is this some elaborate ploy for you to see my fucking dick, bro?" I shouted, nearly waking our sleeping companions. "Nah dude I just don't want any fucking cheating, man. I got $50 on this shit." "Fine, I'll do it with my back to you and just stick my dick out through my fly." I was erect again.
We both went silent. I carefully walked to the corner of the room and looked down upon the soggy mash of Cheerios awaiting my erect cock.
They were Honey Nut.
Without waiting I plunged my eager tool deep into the bowl. The milk washed upon my swollen testicles as they dipped into the soft contents of the bowl. I thrusted gently and realized how the cheerios seemed to react to the shape of my member.
The bowl was deeper than I expected. I heard cries of laughter coming from Steve but I kept going. I wave of white anticipation struck me as my penis grew stiffer and my balls rumbled with an all to familiar feeling.
I came. I came into that honey nut flavored bowl of beaten cheerios. My semen mixed flawlessly into the color of the bowl. My knees went weak. My breathing hastened.
"I fucking love cheerios," I said with a smile.
Three days had past since my first cheerio-man encounter.
I had since then started experimenting with different things. I tried chocolate milk, but it the whole experience just felt... interracial. I tried adding sugar as well but the clean up became a hassle.
Finally I settled on bananas. They were the missing part of the equation. The cheerio inspired orgasms had doubled in strength, but my roommates were growing suspicious. I had never ate cheerios in the two years we'd lived together and now I was going through a box per day. And nobody had ever seen me eat a bowl. I knew I had to be careful.
I called Steve to to joke about it a few days after it had happened and he didn't remember. I lost $50 but gained an experience that can only be equated with touching God. It was a fair trade.
With Steve out of the way I felt a little more relaxed.
"But not as relaxed as I could be," I whispered quietly to myself. A grin formed on my face as I slowly exited my room and made my way down the stairs. Only my roommate Lynn was home. She was gorgeous, but I had no time for girls.
I had cheerios.
I carefully poured the bowl of cheerios into the deepest bowl I could find. I delicately sliced one whole banana and placed it meticulously around the bowl.
"This is going to be a great night," I thought.
I snuck outside to let the cheerios moisten, my penis throbbing in anticipation. My mouth moist as if the cheerios had some Pavlovian effect on me.
I snuck inside quickly and plunged my cock straight into their cool, soft innards. I thrust my head back in pleasure as the banana slices gently caressed the sides of my swollen prick. It had been only a few minutes, but showers of cum sprang from my penis mixing into the milky broth. A quiet whisper escaped my lips.
I began to cleanup and headed to the sink to wash the dish when I heard it.
"What are you doing?" My roommate Lynn stood there barely awake. "I uh just having a bowl of cheerios," I smiled. "I'm fucking hungry and you keep eating them. Now I'm craving em. Hand em over."
I was erect again.
She eagerly filled her mouth with my magic potion of cheerios, banana's, and semen infused milk.
"God this is good. No wonder you like it so much," She said as little streams of milk poured down her chin. "Heh, you're getting it all over yourself," I said. "Oh, I'll get it," She licked her chops in a way that made gave my rod a new precum finish. "This is so much better than usual - what did you add?" "Se-se-se-seenamon," I sputtered. "It doesn't taste like cinnamon, but it does taste really familiar," I always knew she was a slut.
She looked as if she winked at me, but I played it off as if my eyes were playing tricks on me. She sloppily finished off the bowl and hopped up on counter. She put the bowl in the sink and placed her hands next to her.
"I always knew you were a Cheerio fucker," This time she definitely winked at me.
Life had been good since Lynn called me out about my new addiction. The truth was she loved the subtle semen taste mixed with milk as her ex used to cum in her soy milk when he was mad at her. She caught him doing it but had already developed a taste for it.
So our relationship started. I would sneak out of my room late at night and plunge my rod deep into a bowl. The thought of her devouring it the next day made harder than I thought possible and when I came it was, well, amazing. My life had taken a turn for the best and I was loving every minute of it.
About two weeks into our relationship Lynn informed all of us roommates that her Sister and her daughter would be staying with us for a couple of days because of a fire at their house. I guess money was tight and they couldn't really afford a hotel. Nobody really objected, but inside I was in turmoil. Could I really get away from my dark cereal obsession for a couple of days? I would have to try - I couldn't risk them finding out.
They showed up a that night and I could barely hold back the urge to plunge my cock into a bowl of oatmeal Lynn's sister made for her daughter. It was an idea I hadn't considered, but noted I must try.
We spent the rest of the night watching boring sitcoms on TV until everyone decided to get to sleep.
I laid on my bed for what seemed like hours. I couldn't hold back anymore. My erection had formed a circus tent on my bed and I knew what I had to do.
I snuck out of my room as I had so many times in the last few months and down the stairs. Lynn's niece was sleeping in her room, but Lynn's sister was asleep on the couch in that was less than 10 feet from the kitchen. If I was to do this I'd have to be stealthy, but the noises I made while fucking cheerios were ungodly. So I had another plan.
I'd fuck them in the bathroom.
I poured myself a bowl and snuck quietly into the bathroom near the stairs. I gave myself a few quick strokes to get me hard then I plunged right in. The cool milk creeped up my urethra and gave me a sort of numb sensation. I almost came right then, but I held back. My erect cock hit the bottom of the bowl like a sledge hammer of meat. I groaned as the soft but gritty texture of the cheerios rubbed against my sensitive penis. Pressure began building in my balls as the slapped against the outside of the bowl. I stopped and smiled for a second before resuming my unholy act.
And then it happened. I came but the sensation of fucking the cheerios so close to someone else took over and I came again - both ejaculations twice my normal size. I groaned loudly, but quickly caught myself.
I grinned to myself as I played the scene of Lynn eating these tomorrow in front of her sister and niece. She would barely be able to contain herself.
I walked to the door and went to open it, but as I approached I noticed I was hard again.
A warm feeling washed over me. One more load wouldn't hurt, right?
Yet I didn't sleep for long. I woke up early and went downstairs. I didn't watch to chance missing the show. I wanted to see Lynn get as worked up as she normally did when she swallowed her first bite of my cum and cheerios concoction.
She had gotten so worked up about a month ago that she had started fingering herself as she ate. I'm sure most guys would have gone crazy to the sight, but I was fixated on the soggy lumps of over-worked cheerios.
As I walked downstairs I heard the voices of Lynn and her sister. I hadn't really caught their names since I had been preoccupied with my secret so I figured now was a good time.
"Good morning guys!" I smiled at both of them as they sat on the couch and watched morning cartoons. "Good morning," they both didn't look up. "My names Jack. I don't think I got your names though," I put on a fake smile. "Well my names Karen and this little terror is Stephanie," She smile back at me as she pointed to her daughter, Lynn's niece. "Well it's a pleasure to meet you guys. Mind if I join you for some TV? I love this show."
I wedged in the seat next to Karen and zoned out waiting for Lynn to come downstairs. About 20 minutes later she did. She was dressed in a tiny mini skirt and a sports bra. She looked fantastic.
It was the first time since cheerios I had actually been turned on my a woman.
She mumbled a greeting and walked to the refrigerator. I became hard with anticipation and did my best to shift my position as to not alert Karen or Stephanie.
Lynn's eyes widened as she looked into the fridge. I could see her knees weaken a bit and she let out a little bit of a groan.
"Are you okay?" Karen asked her. "Uh, um, yeah. I'm just feeling a little sick." Lynn lied. "Oh, well if you need anything let me know. I can't thank you enough for letting us stay her. You too Jack."
Just then something terrible happened. Stephanie, who couldn't have been more than 5 years old piped up.
"Mommy I'm hungry!" She said.
Lynn's facial expression became devious. Mine became horrified. We both knew what was about to happen.
Lynn spoke before I could.
"Well we're out of breakfast foods really. But there is a bowl of cheerios in the fridge if you're hungry Stephanie." "I love cheerios," Stephanie sat right up and headed to the breakfast table. "They're a little soggy. Is that okay?" Lynn was clearly getting off on the idea. I hate to admit it, but I was too. Precum was oozing off my cock like the first time Lynn ate my cheerios.
Lynn handed her the bowl and a spoon and sat down next to here with a glass of OJ. Karen asked us if we could watch her while she took a shower and Lynn agreed.
"Why don't you join us Jack," Lynn smiled at me and I eagerly got up and headed for the table.
I sat down next to Lynn and noticed that she had already started playing with herself under the table. I smiled at her and she winked at me.
She took a sip of her orange juice and gently moved her hand out of her crotch and into my lap. She undid the button and tugged on my erect cock and gently started stroking it.
Meanwhile Stephanie was about to eat the cheerios. She was about to take her first bite when my conscience kicked in.
"Hey Stephanie," I said. "Hi Jack," She put the spoon down. "What if I take you out for some pancakes instead?" I smiled. "I love pancakes even more than cheerios!" She smiled. "But I mommy told me not to waste food!" Stephanie looked sad. "Well maybe Lynn will eat them," I smiled at Lynn but she wasn't having any of it. "No I'm not hungry. Jack why don't you eat them." As she spoke her grip tightened on my penis and the stroking stopped. "Yeah Jack, can you please eat them?" Stephanie's pleading eyes caught me off guard and I knew my fate. "Alright, I'll eat them. Then we'll go out for pancakes okay?" I gulped. I had never considered it but my cock was growing and Lynn could tell. She started stroking again. Her pace quickened as the cheerios got closer.
I took my first bite and nearly came as it washed down my throat. The strong honey nut flavor was complimented by the subtle saltiness of my own semen. I was worried that I might have been disgusted, but all hesitation was gone now. I was thoroughly enjoying every bite.
I could see now why Lynn loved it so much.
Each salty bite was like a wave of passion flooding over me and I could feel Lynn stroking my faster than before. The pressure was building and I knew I had limited time before Iâd explode in a wave of euphoria. Normally I wouldnât care, but Stephanie was still eagerly watching me devour my tainted cereal.
âStephanie - why donât you go and get dressed? Iâm almost done and I know youâre hungry.â âOkay!â She hopped up from the chair and disappeared upstairs.
She was just in time to because as I heard the door slam Lynn dropped to her knees and slid my already pulsing PENIS into her mouth and then deep into her throat. She gagged a something I can only assume was sexy as I put the bowl to my lips and began to suck the thick milk and jizz mixture; slurping as loud as I possibly could.
I finally finished coming and Lynn sat back in her chair. âYou have a really small PENIS, Jackâ She laughed. âHey â at least itâs circumcised!â This time I laughed. âYeah, I canât stand uncut guys. But seriously itâs kinda small. Youâre lucky your semen is like nectar. I canât get enough.â She licked her lips to show me she wasnât kidding. âThatâs good to hear. Thanks for that by the way. You almost compare to cheerios.â
A few months had pass since Lynnâs family left and I had kept up on my cheerios fucking adventures. Lynn still enjoyed her morning bowl and I had now upped it to four loads. But like any relationship things had become less exciting. I needed something to spice things up â to make things the way they used to be. I had let Lynn in on it, but she wasnât very much help.
âWhy donât you just fuck me? Iâm pretty hot and I can take a dick well,â It was the only thing she really said and I just couldnât bring myself to do it. It was too different and frankly kind of grossed me out.
But then I had an epiphany. Maybe it was time for a fantasy I had always had. My dick was already 4 inches deep into a bowl of cheerios as I came to the concept.
It was time to try corn flakes.
I went down to the local grocer and could barely contain my anticipation as I approached the cereal isle. Euphoria hit me like a sack of bricks as I walked down the glorious aisle. I had been here many times, but the concept of a new cereal made this experience new. It was like I had broken up with a girlfriend and could simply pick a new one for the price of $3.99 (or 2 for $5 with a club card).
My erection was obvious as I side stepped an older lady to get to the corn flakes. Iâm sure she saw it, but I didnât care. A white box with a giant rooster on beckoned me. It was almost as if it was meant to be. I started to leave the aisle but something didnât feel right. I immediately figured out what it was. We were out of cheerios at home.
I picked up a few boxes of cheerios with a grin and headed to the check out.
When I got home I was greeted by six strangers - all of the trashed and all of them obnoxious. I had counted on a nice quiet evening with a bowl of corn flakes and maybe a bit of wine, but I would have to wait. My other roommate - Paul - was throwing a party. I couldnât really complain because he was extremely quiet and never really did anything to step on anyoneâs toes.
It didnât matter. Iâd just fulfill my mission in my room. Maybe Lynn would watch.
I walked to the kitchen and grabbed two bowls and a gallon of milk and hobbled up to my room. I knocked on Lynnâs door but she didnât answer.
It looked as if tonight was going to be just me and my cereal.
I stared at the bowl longingly as I poured the cornflakes out of their box. My cock started pulsating as the orange tinged flakes toppled out into the bowl. Milk soon joined them, and my throbbing penis drew closer, almost with a mind of its own.
A few strokes to get hard, and I was in. The texture, the shape, the color, the slightly roughened, non-circular edges caressed my meat as I plunged my dick further in. I had been taking penis enlargement pills on behalf of Lynn, who desperately wanted me all the way down her throat. My dick wasn't fitting the full way in, so I figured they must be working, and how!
Suddenly the door burst open. I wheeled around to see Lynn standing there, her eyes hungrily fixated on the bowl, wedged onto my dick.
"Is it my turn yet?" she inquired.
She flicked her brown hair and winked at me, and with a final thrust my load burst all through the cornflakes.
"Yes, just in time too."
She stalked over toward me, and grabbed the bowl off my crotch. Milk and stray flakes fell from my groin as she began devouring the fresh made bowl. Corn flakes were my new god, the shape and form created an ecstasy from which I could not hold back. Lynn looked up from her bowl, and questioned me for what seemed like the thousandth time;
"Please, Jack, can you fuck me while I eat this?"
My mind started whirring, I had formed a plan, a devious plan. I would give Lynn what she wanted, while escaping from my own dilemma of not wanting to fuck her. I would pour cornflakes and milk inside her. It would be orgasmic.
She seemed to read my thoughts, and nodded. I grabbed the packet of corn flakes and she fell onto the bed and spread her beautiful, long brown legs. I opened her wide, and started jamming in fistfuls of corn flakes with my hands. I added milk, and she yelped softly. I was throbbing with anticipation already.
I directed my pulsating cock into her moist pussy, her juices flowing and mixing with the milk and flakes. I jammed it inside her, forcing the cereal further and further inside her, fucking her with all the intensity I could manage despite the utter ecstasy I was in.
Harder and harder I pushed, her face staring up at me, milk mixed with my semen dribbling down her chin, wetting her tiny tank top. It was becoming too much. I thrust further and further inside her, the mix of cornflakes and pussy juices creating an amalgam of awesome that I just could not resist mentally.
"FUCK!" I screamed, as I shot what I would call one of the biggest loads I have ever felt through her system. Sh vibrated and clenched the bowl, dropping it to the floor, were it smashed, sending the contents scattering across the room.
I had made Lynn orgasm.
She immediately jumped up after she had recovered from the pleasure of the climax coursing through her body, and leapt off the bed. She then began licking the milk and flakes off the carpet, making distinct "Unghh" noises while she was doing it. I saw her thick, firm ass cheeks from behind, her pussy dripping with milk and juice, with the occasional flake falling out.
"I came inside you, Lynn." I said solemnly.
"I know, I'm on the pill, its okay." she said quickly, then resumed licking the flakes from the floor, her ass moving up and down slowly as she lapped up my body's fruits.
After that night, things seemed different. I couldn't find the same pleasure as I had fucking the cornflakes inside Lynn's pussy. I tried everything, I filled up a fleshlight with corn flakes, cheerios, bananas and milk but I just couldn't manage it, and Lynn didn't seem to be dropping any hints that she wanted more, and besides, she was going away for a month to see Stephanie and her mother's new home, and stay there for a while to "break it in".
After many unsuccessful attempts to reach the climax I had achieved before, I decided it was time for a more radical option, something I had considered yet never tried. I wasn't going to fuck a bowl, or a fleshlight, I was going to fuck the opening of a milk bottle, filled with cheerios, bananas, cornflakes and the rim lubed up to maximum.
I went to the store and purchased the ingredients. The checkout worker had come to learn my name and special, and as soon as I started walking towards him he already had the register open with my standard order programmed in.
"One more item today, Jer." I said to him, holding up the bottle of lubricant. He merely raised his bushy eyebrows and smiled, ushering me through.
"No need to pay for that one, with the amount of cereal you eat it must be a pretty inexperienced woman to have a thing for you!" He said, jokingly.
"Hey buddy, when you graduate from scanning my products to benefiting society, I'll take your opinion." I said, shoving the extra cash for the lube into his hand and walking out.
My hands were sweating all over the wheel of my car as I made the journey to my apartment. I raced in the door with my bags and set them on the table, and looked up to see Steve sitting there, watching TV.
"What are you doing here today bro?" I asked.
"Ah, I got the sack. By the way, did Lynn tell you before I left? There's some renovators coming in about 20 or so minutes to fix up the bathroom and buffer out some of those cracks in my walls, they're getting pretty damn big man."
"Oh. Cool." I responded. What the fuck! Where had this come from? Where would I bust this load now, my dick had been begging for it since I had arrived at the store and located the milk.
"How long will they take?" I inquired, covering my annoyance with nonchalance.
"Oh a few days or so. We're going to have to sleep and live down here for a while, is that cool?"
"Uh yeah, no worries... Where do I shit?" said I.
"Whoa, uhm, well there's a public toilet not far away, a 1-2 minute walk, I was hoping you wouldn't mind if we could use that?" Steve said, going a little red in the face. This was really starting to get to me, however I retained my composure.
"Well dude, I don't know. Seems a bit of a stretch, but I guess we need to stop this place going to shit, so I'll have to cope." I was infuriated. He was sitting there, smug little grin on his face. He'd never done anything like this before. But I already knew what he was having for breakfast tomorrow morning. A quadruple shot bowl of Cheerios.
It was just a shame Lynn couldn't be there to enjoy it.
I grabbed my shopping off the table and walked back out the door. Steve looked up at me for a second inquisitively, then evidently dismissed the thought. I strolled on down to the public bathrooms in the park just near our place, and entered stealthily.
I unpacked my things onto the closed seat of the toilet. Tipping a fair portion of the milk into the toilet bowl, I grabbed up the cheerios and the cornflakes and made haste in emptying them into the partially drained bottle. I broke up the banana with my hands and added that too, I felt like I was on some rabid druggie cooking show. My cock rose up in my pants as I took the tube of lubricant and applied it to the rim of the bottle, my hands quivering with excitement.
Slowly I bent the completed orgasm tube towards my cock, a little of the contents spilling down my legs. One thrust, two thrusts, and it was in. And was it ever in. Jamming my dick back and forth out of this bottle was possibly equal with fucking Lynn's cereal vagina.
Suddenly from outside I heard the cruel laughter of young boys. Evidently just off some sort of bullying endeavor, they strutted into the bathroom, and started kicking my door. I screamed at them to fuck off, but they just laughed and kept doing it. Then Jack had a plan. Jack had a devious, evil plan.
I blocked out the noises of the kids smashing my door in, and kept furiously working the bottle back and forth along my cock. I started making noises, and there were a few distinct "What the fuck is he doing?" calls heard from outside, but nothing could stop me, this was everything I had been waiting for the whole day. I pushed harder and harder, my dick pulsating with carnal desire for my whole grain lover, when I felt my balls rumble.
It was time.
I ripped the bottle off my dick, and jerking myself furiously I charged out of the cubicle, cock dripping with milk and precum. And I fired the greatest load of sperm I think I have ever witnessed, from any human. The cum arced, and I watched almost in slow motion as if covered the baby face of some 12 year old ass hole, his backwards trucker's cap soaked in, his face a mask of terror. They all screamed like little bitches and fled before the advancing wrath of my throbbing member.
Instantly, I was hard again. I closed my sacred cubicle, and started pumping the bottle back and forth. Steve was going to enjoy his breakfast tomorrow, I thought to myself. Over about an hour I came four separate times into that bottle. My balls were black and blue, and I stumbled back to our place. Falling through the door, Steve was nowhere to be found. Hopefully he was out looking for work. I dropped onto the couch and set my watch alarm to wake me at 6am tomorrow morning to organize Steve's feast. It was about 8:30PM when I fell asleep.
The next morning I awoke to the beeping of my watch. Steve was on the floor, on some sort of mat that I didn't even know we owned. It looked pretty grungy, however it would have nothing on what he was about to eat. I got up groggily, sleep inertia clouding my senses, and stumbled to the fridge. Opening it, my jaw dropped. The bottle was gone.
I looked around, I couldn't see it anywhere. Had Steve found it? Had he already eaten it? Anxiety collected in the pit of my stomach. I ran into Lynn's room to see if I could find it, to find her, head tilted back, drinking the miasma of soggy cereal and four shots of my nut butter.
"Hey Jack. Work told me I needed to be back so I had to come. Speaking of come, this was pretty strong stuff. You been eating much raw salt lately?" she said, winking, and tossed the bottle into the corner and walked out of the room. I realised then that I wanted her again. I wasn't sure if she didn't want to take my dick any more or if she was playing hard to get, but I wanted her lips wrapped around my shaft, more than a good cold bowl of Cheerios.
But the fact still remained, Steve had escaped my wrath. So I formed a plan. A plan to win access to the warm bowl of Lynn's VAGINA and destroy the mind of Steve for subjecting me to the torture of those bastard children.
I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone.
Speaking to Steve, he said he was out last night at the bar, busy with his dealings with the ladies, as he likes to say. I decided to lie a little. I said that Lynn would be bedding in a hotel, and she told me to tell him this if he had woken up and she had left for work. He bought it like the docile fellow he is. I moved the conversation on to her room, and said that she had proposed that either of us could sleep in her bed. I decided to "martyr" myself for him, and allowed him to use it while she was away. He had a huge thing for her, and he'd probably skeet from just being in her room. I convinced him to have another night out at the pub, and that perhaps his luck would wax strong tonight with concerns to the "ladies". By no means was Steve an unattractive man, and I hoped he'd find some early consolation before having his mind obliterated.
Part A of the plan was complete. Part B would be initiated when Lynn arrived home from work. But first, a trip to the store for the supplies. The delivery must be perfect if I was to pull this off with maximum efficiency. Thus, away I went, and arrived home about an hour before Lynn was due home. Perfection. Steve had left the house too, even better.
Part B rolled into action. I had purchased a little something extra today from the chemist, and by purchased, I mean I asked my friend at the counter for it and he handed it over free of charge, on the condition that I explained the whole story to him. By the way Andrew, if you're out there, you're part of the reason I'm writing this. I know you're lurker. Anyway, I had me some Viagra. I didn't know what would happen if I took this, but I knew that if I was going to get as much semen into the bowl as I needed, then I was going to need stimulation worthy of Zeus.
When I arrived home, I poured myself a bowl and quickly shot off my first two loads. This wasn't even a challenge anymore. As my cock started to hurt, I took the Viagra. Instantly I was revitalized, and managed a full three more loads sprayed into the bowl. But my last tablet I was saving for when Lynn got home. I quickly cleaned everything up and got to my room, where I lay in wait. My cock was in terrible pain, but I needed just one more load, for Lynn.
I heard the front door click open. It was about 11PM at the moment, she was about three hours late, which seemed odd. She walked inside, I heard the fridge open, and a grunt of dismay. She then called my name.
"Jack? You home?"
I decided not to respond. I was standing in her room, totally naked, packed of cornflakes on the floor, milk in one hand, and the quintuple shot Cheerio bowl in hand. I quickly trod on the "send" button on my phone, which lay beneath my feet. The message would arrive on Steve's phone any second.
"Get back here now, preferably with the girl you're talking to. I have a nice surprise for you two."
Steve was the kind of man that couldn't resist a good surprise, especially one which involved him and another woman. He'd be home soon.
The handle on the door to the room slowly began to turn. I had taken exorbitant amounts of Viagra and my cock felt as if it was going to explode. The door creaked open, and there she was, in her work clothes, a tight black skirt, hair done up, and a suit jacket over her shoulders. Her blouse was bursting, it was just too small for her tits. I assumed she had been going for a raise today. She looked at me with mouth wide open. Her purse fell to the floor.
"Cheerios? 5 shots in this one." I calmly stated.
She rushed at me, facade of disinterest gone from her eyes. She grabbed the bowl from my hand and literally plunged her face into its depths. I could hear soft "Unghh" sounds from her diaphragm, my dick was so hard it was unbelievable. She noticed, and grabbed it, and began to rub it. The feeling was amazing. I managed to murmur;
"Cereal...In your pussy?"
She managed to nod amidst the devouring of my honey nut butter Cheerios. She sat down on her bed, and started eating, as I grabbed the milk, cereal and banana, and began to create my concoction. I poured it into her VAGINA and stuck my cock in as soon as I could. I was fucking her hard as she munched on the Cheerios, my cries of ecstasy mixed with her grunts and snorts of pleasure. She was in heaven, and so was I. I kept plunging my cock in and out, until I realized that we needed so add something. I turned her over, and spread her ass cheeks, shoving fistfuls of cornflakes and cheerios into her tight anus. In went the milk, followed closely by my banana. I had found the meaning of life. I was drilling her in the ass, an ass filled with delicious cereal and my meat, together creating a miasma of pleasure that made me see Jesus.
When suddenly the door ripped open, and we saw Steve standing there, complete with some unattractive whore he had found at the bar. His mouth was wider than Lynn's anus. But that wasn't stopping us. There was shit and milk everywhere, my room mate standing at the door to the room, and me fucking his lifelong love in her ass while she ate a bowl of semen infused Cheerios.
My relationship with Cheerios is now serious.
We haven't heard from Steve in a long time.
And the volume of the profanities he was screeching, well that I'll take to the grave.
Sprint Cup Driver
Number of posts: 1346
Location: Parking the pitcart for Phil.
Registration date: 2009-02-01
|Subject: Re: Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread Fri Jun 17, 2011 8:09 am|| |
So there was this girl in high school that I had an obsessive crush on. Her name was Sara and she was perfect. We shared a few classes such as physics and German and a few others. At this point in time, I had just turned 17 and she was 15, although we were still in the same year or grade. She was a short skinny girl with blonde hair put into a high pony tail and had a fringe of a few long hairs that hung down the sides of her face which she was always blowing out of the way. My god why don't girls my age these days have hair cuts like that? I never see those schoolgirl hairstyles anymore. She had a skinny teen body that wasn't too curvy yet, petite breasts that could easily fit into a hand, and the most perfect small rounded ass, and very pale white skin. The school uniform for the girls consisted of dark green school pants and green jumper which was generally unflattering, but on her these pants always seemed to be too tight, showing off the perfect roundness. Like her breasts, her ass was the perfect handful size. I'd had a crush on Sara for a long time now, and with my current social standing at school and lack of self esteem, i didn't even consider expressing my interest in her. She was one of the girls in the nerdy group I guess, quiet and hard working. But still way out of my league. Until one day...
Now let me reiterate how incredibly awesome Sara's ass was. Our school had a lot of stairs, and I always found myself walking behind her, my face level with her ass, only a few centimeters away. I was an assman through and through. But she was also an incredibly nice, quiet and friendly girl, not like a lot of the other girls that were so stuck up, thought they were god's gift to men, obsessed with being as cool as possible. Sometimes I'd sit next to Sara in class, and we would get along fine. She was also one of those girls that you just knew had never done anything sexual. That kind of thing probably never even crossed her mind. But then one day, I had a German class with her. This German class was an elective, so there were only a few people in the class. In fact, there were 3 of us in this class. Me, Sara and another girl. And then there was our teacher, Ms. Janosec or something. Horrid lady. And due to the tiny class size, our class was put in a small windowless room at the end of the corridor in the ass end of the school. So there was a fair distance between us and other classes.
So me and Sara turned up to class, Ms. Janosec waiting for us. She was a grumpy bitch, and wasn't even German. She was of some Eastern European Untermensch descent. The third girl didn't turn up to class, which was an incredible stroke of luck for me as I would find out. So as we sat next to each other at the desk, the teacher started the so called class with "Well seeing Alix isn't here, we won't be doing any new material, so David and Sara, I want you over 9,000 to work on your assignments. Becoz zEY ARE JEW IN ONE VEEK!!" I groaned a little. I had barely started the damn thing. And to be honest, I can not even remember now what the assignment was about. "While you guys do that, I'm going to go photocopy some things. I will be a while, so no mucking around." She tapped on the table in front of me, as if to point out my own textbooks to me, as if I didn't know they were there. Sara perked up and asked "How long will you be?" "Oh I don't know half an hour." Sara looked at me, with a kind of odd look on her face. Her face was heavenly. Although she was 15 years old, her face made her look even younger. It was perfectly symmetrical dominated by large blue eyes which were able to change color from a soft grayish blue to a penetrating vivid blue eyes able to shoot lazers. It was as if they had been photoshopped or something.
But her large eyes also helped to make her look younger. And she had subtle light freckles on her cheeks, completing the whole school girl look. But at the time, her odd look was a combination of "Why is the teacher not going to leave teach us?" "Hey no teacher, we don't have to do any work." and "I'm stuck with YOU?" It was a complicated facial gesture but i was somehow able to interpret it. She then tried to brush her fringe from her face with her hand, for it to just fall back into place again. Then with a sudden annoyed but cute look, she blew the hair, kinda like Lola Bunny does in Space Jam. (No idea how i thought up of that example.) Again she was unsuccesful, and turned back to her schoolwork while the teacher collected her books and belongings, all of them, and left the room. As she shut the door, I noticed that the door had a lock on it, and at the same time i noticed the teacher took all of her things. Was she going to come back at all? I pulled my chair in to sit closer to the desk, which was actually a cover for me pulling my chair slightly closer to Sara. "Well, that was weird." I said. "Yeah.." I felt a little awkward at that point. A few seconds of awkward silence was broken by Sara. "Hey, what grammar do I use for this sentence?" She pointed to work, and I leaned in closer to see. I actually had to lean in a lot closer, because what she was pointing at wasn't right in front of her, but to the side.
So I leaned over and had a look, and showed her what to do. My face was actually very close to hers, and i was getting rather excited. And I could smell her. Girls at that age generally didn't wear much perfume, except for maybe the try hard sluts. But Sara just smelt very natural, and she had a wonderful smell, like a pleasant sweaty smell with a tinge of vanilla. When i fixed her problem she turned her face to mine quite suddenly. "Hey thanks!" she said with unexpected enthusiasm, her eyes bright. It was at that point that I realized my face was maybe 2 inches from hers. Nervously I stuttered, "Uh..th..That's okay." She giggled a little. She must've thought I was an idiot! So I turned back to my own work. But after a while we started talking. As nervous as she made me because I thought she was the most beautiful thing to ever grace the earth, she also seemed to be able to make me relax and feel comfortable just by talking to me. We stopped doing any constructive work, and talked about the upcoming student exchange. "I'd love to go to Germany." She said "But I don't think my parents can afford it." "That sucks!" I replied. "I'm going, my parents are paying for the tickets, and I'm using my savings for spending money." And so on the conversation continued. I made sure I stayed sitting very close to her. I was probably invading her personal space, but she didn't seem to mind. After a few minutes we were giggling and laughing, and Sara was sprawling on the table, or waving her arms about. We were getting a bit silly. And then she knocked a text book off the table. The strangest thing happened next.
Is this story moving along too slow? Too bad. Lol. The class wasn't canceled, cos it was an elective. For some reason, our school kept those classes going.
She leant over to the side and bent down to pick up the book. And as she did, her ass in the tight school pants pointed at me, as she fumbled around with the book. I couldn't help but stare. Amazing. I'm sorry, but from all the porn and JB I've seen, never seen an ass like that. With her age, her hips hadn't fully developed into the adult shape. Now not that I'm a pedo, but for some reason, this seemed to make her even more attractive. Usually at this point in the story, the story teller would usually say "and then I went hard as a rock." or "And then i popped 20 boners!" But in this situation, I was hard as a rock from the moment I was in the same room with her. Being within 5 meters of her was usually enough to get me standing at attention. So I was staring at her wonderful posterior when she farted.
What the fuck. She just farted. Pretty much in my face. What? Girls don't fart. Girl's never do that! Or so I thought at the time. I often wondered if they even shat, or if girls even had all those annoying bodily functions that us poor guys had. Although I knew that of course they do the same things we do. But they hide it so well. So the 15 year old girl of my dreams had just farted in my face. I even felt it. What the fuck. She sat up very suddenly. "Oh My God!" She said, her hand over her mouth in genuine apologetic shock. "Oh my god! I am so sorry!" She was white with horror. Then the smell hit me. In her shock, while saying "Oh my god a lot, she flopped her hand on the top of my head while apologizing profusely. I was just stunned. And the smell! Actually, it wasn't that bad. No it didn't smell like roses. It smelt like a fart. But not like those face stabbing eye watering weapons of mass destruction that guys try to plant on each other and beer and pizza nights for fun. It was just mild. "Um it's okay! I don't mind!" i said to her, trying to calm her down. I really didn't mind. I was actually turned on by it. At that moment, that particular fact hit me and freaked me out. Turned on by it? That's not normal! Trying to gather my thoughts, I put a hand on her shoulder and reassured her "Hey it's okay, don't stress out. I don't mind." Looking back at me she replied "Really?"
I replied, "Yeah, it's fine. If I had to be farted on by someone, I would prefer it were you." Wait. Stop. What did I just say? In my nervousness and freaking out, I'd gone and said something stupid. Her face changed. "Um, what do you mean by that?" She looked at me, her eyes a little gray. I don't think she felt guilty anymore and wasn't laughing either. "Um.." I stammered, noticing my hand still on her shoulder, lifting it off gently. "Well I mean..If anyone was to..uh..well...I like you Sara."
A look of shock, and perhaps terror and disgust as well crossed her face. "What, you like me? Like..." She made some erroneous gesture with her hands. I felt like I had jumped into my own grave. Had no idea what to say. "Yeah, i like you. I think you're beautiful." My life was over. "That's so sweet!" My god I hate it when girls say that!
She giggled at me. But i think she saw the crushed look on my face. I looked down at my desk. It was over. "Hey! Hey it's okay." She said. She suddenly moved her chair really close to me and nudged or bumped her body into me playfully, as if to knock me out of my out of my reverie. She giggled at me some more and said "I like you too." But as soon as she said it, she seemed to go through the same embarrassed emotions i did. She too looked away and down at her desk. She was still very close, our bodies still touching. I reached out and gently turned her chin to face me and I looked into her eyes. At that point she looked incredibly innocent, and I could tell now that she no idea what she was doing either. In the years I'd known Sara, I knew that she had never had a boyfriend. She seemed like one of those girls that had no interest at all in boyfriends, or romance, or sex or anything. I leant over to kiss her. She retreated a little, but I was still able to give a soft little peck on the lips. It seemed that seeing her innocence and inexperience gave me a little more confidence, though my mind was racing. Her lips were incredible soft and almost trembling.
Moving back a little I looked into her eyes. She looked a little upset and scared, but didn't say anything. She didn't get up and leave, or move away, or tell me to stop or slap me. So i gently touched the side of her neck with my hand, and leant in again. Had no idea what i was doing, improvising as I went. I tilted my head a little, and kissed again. This time she didn't retreat, and the kiss lasted a little longer. As we slowly moved away, i felt her breathe on my lips. This time she moved in, grabbing the side of my neck with one had, the other on my shoulder, and she pressed her lips against mine, and made a small kind of mewing noise, as her lips opened slightly. I opened my lips a little too as our kiss became more passionate. I felt something soft, warm and wet brush against my lips. My hard-on felt like it was going to burst, or snap or something. I stuck my tongue out a little and licked her lips as well, and when our over 9,000 tongues met, we broke into a fully passionate kiss. Both our mouths were open, both our tongues exploring. Her kiss was soft and rather wet. We did this, oblivious to the rest of the world, though i had no idea how long. At first it was a little awkward, we even bashed teeth a little, but she seemed to learn pretty quickly. Eventually she pulled softly away, a little chain of saliva stretched between our mouths, leaving a little bit of spit under her lower lip. That had to be the cutest most erotic sight I'd ever seen. And again she farted.
I caressed between her legs a little firmer, and she squirmed a little, moaning just slightly. We were both trying to keep quiet. and then I remembered something. "Shit!" I jumped up, and went to the door. And locked it. Just to be safe. My mind was on one thing only, Sara, and I didn't want anyone to interrupt that. In a hurry I ran back to her and resumed our face sucking. Her kisses were getting wetter, her lips and tongue spreading her shiny saliva around my mouth. She was really getting into it. My mind was going crazy, trying to remember and cherish every moment and detail. She even licked my face a little. She was crazy! I caressed her ass again, firmer this time. My fingers running down the middle. I was obsessed! And just as my hand was in the right spot, she farted again. On my hand. What the fuck! "Fuck..." she said. "that's not right, I'm sorry." Again I tried to reassure her, while making a mental note to never ever wash that hand again. This time she stank out the room. "Urgh, I feel a little funny she said, placing a hand on her lower tummy. "Are you okay?" I asked with concern. "Yeah. Dunno, must be something I ate." She winced a little, as if she was in pain. I was getting a little concern. "Oh no!" She whimpered. "Hmm? What's wrong?" i said staying close to her.
"Um, I have to.. I have to.. you know.. again." What a strange girl i thought. "What? Do you need to fart again?" She bit her lip and nodded gently with the most embarrassed look on her face. She was so cute, no matter what she did. I cuddled her, trying to be.. well I don't know. Supportive? She went a little tense. "It's okay, go for it!" I whispered. And so she did, with a little whimper of effort, she let one go. It was long and alternated from silent to loud. It was strange to hear, and to my twisted mind, somewhat erotic. This one was almost eye watering. It seemed to fill the room and thicken the air. I actually giggled a little, and as it was a ridiculous, awkward situation, all Sara could do was giggle as well. We both began to laugh. There was a lot of tension and nervousness between each other, so I guess neither of us knew what to do. So we both laughed quite loudly. But then she suddenly stopped, whimpered and gripped her tummy. "Urgh!" She groaned. I went wide eyed. "I.. I have to go.. I have to go.. oh no.. I.." She got up out of her chair, and tried to head for the door, stumbling a little gripping her stomach. "Woah!" I said as i jumped up to support her. She fell against me, and I held her. Holding her was amazing, but she seemed to be in trouble. "T... Toilet.. I need to go." The poor thing, I put and arm around her, and supported her as we moved to the door. She farted again as we reached the door. It sounded wet. Was she going to shit herself or what? I quickly unlocked the door and we went into the corridor.
Sara hung tightly onto my shoulder, as we walked down the corridor, and out to the toilets. We got to the door of the girl's toilets and let her go and motioned for her to go in. She limped and crouched over a bit. She really didn't seem well at all. Her face showed she was in pain. My heart ached for her a bit. "No.." She said, "I need your help, I can hardly walk." I was shocked. "But I can't go in there!" "Quickly..please!" She whimpered with her arm outstretched reaching for me. I didn't know what to do. There could've been other girls in there, I could have been suspended or expelled from school. But the look on her face, and my feelings for her threw my common sense out the window. "Alright. Gimme your hand." And so I held on to and supported her and helped her limp into the female toilets. To my surprise they were complete empty! No one in there at all, all the stalls empty. As I guided her to the first stall, I noticed that the place was filthy! The male toilets in the school were always in a sorry state, mess everywhere, burn marks, toilet paper everywhere. And I always assumed females were all tidy and clean and well behaved. But this place was even worse. "Will you be okay?" I said as she entered the stall and closed the door. "Yeah i'll be okay. But please don't go. Please stay!" I was just about to object when i heard her moan out suddenly. And then I heard the sound of her explosive diarrhea.
She whimpered from inside the stall as I heard her spraying shit into the toilet. She groaned deeply as if she was pushing. Through clenched teeth I heard her ask "You still there?" "Yeah! You okay?!" More groaning. I wanted nothing more than to get out of there. Some other girls could come into the toilet at any time. I was starting to panic. She moaned a bit more. "I'll be fine." She said, as I heard more of her fecal matter drip wetly into the toilet. I could hear all the splashing, and her farting noises as she pushed. I leant against the door listening, as my fascination clashed with fear. I still had a hard on. I think it had been going up and down regularly for the last half hour. But hearing her struggling away made me even harder. It seemed so wrong, so weird. Something like this shouldn't turn me on. But it did. So I did what males do, and I reached down, and began to fap slowly, just as I heard her push out what sounded like a large turd. She grunted with effort. The smell was putrid and penetrating, but kind of sweet too. Listening intently, I began to fap with more intent, my hand down my pants. She was panting inside the stall. Sounded like this was taking her a lot of effort. What the hell did she eat? "Hmmm.. I'm starting to feel a bit better now." She said from within the stall. I replied "That's good." Though I think my voice sounded a little strained, from my fapping. More sounds from the stall, and then I heard the sound of girls voices from outside the toilets.
Stricken with fear I went still, pulling my hand from my pants and the throbbing hard on. I was petrified. "Sara!" I whispered. All of a sudden the door to the stall which I was leaning on flew open. Nearly falling I saw Sara with a determined look grab my arm and pull me in. What on earth was she doing?! After shutting and locking the door, she sat down on the toilet again, with me in the stall with her. Standing in the same stall that she was going to the toilet in. I was in shock. It was almost too much for one day. I looked down at her. Her pants were around her ankles, and she looked up at me grinning. At that point I noticed her bottom half was virtually naked. Her skin was creamy and smooth. Pale and unblemished. Her legs were closed, but my eyes looked exactly where any horny teenage males eyes would look. Staring at her crotch I couldn't her VAGINA, but the sight was still enough to almost make me feel faint. Or was it the smell that was making me feel faint. As the girls voices grew closer, Sara hissed in annoyance. She whispered sharply "They'll see your feet!" You see, the stall doors had about a 1 foot gap from the bottom of the door and the floor. She was right. The girls coming into the toilets would definitely see me. I was done for. Then Sara opened her legs. I stared in surprise as her VAGINA came into view. There was very little hair, just a little sprinkled line of light brown hair just above her pussy. "Stand on the seat!" She said. But I was hypnotized, and didn't know what was going on!
"Hey! Quick." She said, snapping me out of my shock. Didn't she even realize she was pretty much naked in front of me. I couldn't stop staring at her cooch. "Hurry!" I finally realized that she wanted me to stand on the seat between her legs, so we could hide. So I quickly put on foot on the seat, lifted myself, and put the other foot down, terrified of falling in. So there I was, standing on a toilet seat between the legs of the girl I had a crush on for years, with the smell of her shit in my nostrils, and my tenting cock pointing right at her face. The other girls entered the toilet blabbering about pointless girl stuff. They were actually quite loud, and obnoxious. But I felt so awkward standing there, and looked down, and Sara was pretty much just staring at my crotch. She look up. I silently mouth the word "Sorry" to her, but I don't know if she understood. Still feeling awkward, I carefully and slowly crouched down, balancing with my feet on the toilet seat, hoping it would break, until my face was level with hers. I nearly lost my balance so I wrapped my arms around her to stop falling. Her arms also came tightly around me. The other girls were still talking, while they did whatever they do. They must've lit up smokes as well. They seemed to be taking ages. I looked into Sara's eyes. The last half hour non stop shock, and I wondered what she was thinking. She mustn't have been finished going to the toilet. Her face cringed a little, as I felt her push. It was the weirdest experience of my life, as she shat, right there in front of me.
The whole situation made me as horny as fuck, so I suddenly kissed her. At first she pulled back a little, but then pushed forcefully into the kiss. Our hands were all over each other. She was fumbling with my pants as my hand ran down her back. She pulled out my raging boner and clumsily started giving a hand job. But my hands kept going lower, and I started to caress her ass. But she was still SHITTING. WTF. I looked down and could see the shit she was pushing out, as she lowered her mouth onto my cock. I almost came right there and then. As the monster turd splashed into the shitty water, my hand and fingers ran over her asshole.
I pushed the tip of a finger into her asshole which was smeared in shit, while I pushed my cock forcefully into her mouth. I must've pushed to hard, cos she made a kind of panicked groan crossed with a gagging sound. Pushing my finger in deeper, i felt it push into her warm and moist shit. I could feel it pushing out, against my finger. I began to thrust the finger back and forth as more shit started to push out of her asshole. I twas all too much for me. I couldn't help it, i threw my head back and orgasmed, filling her mouth and throat with cum. The whole thing threw me back a little, making me lose my balance. My cock flicked out of her mouth, smacked her nose and got come all over her face, while my shit covered hand flicked specs of shit all over the cubical. I fell against the cubicle door, dizzy as fuck.
I looked at Sara. A look of disbelief on her cum splatter face. But she was breathing heavily, and started to have an evil glint in her eye. "Wow, I never thought anyone else in the world would like that kind of... Shit." she said. I was pretty much speechless. She suddenly slipped forward on the seat, and raised her legs up, the look on her face was positively evil. She spread her legs exposing her cunt and her shit smeared ass to me. I was just staring, not knowing what to do. So she instructed me, very explicitly, in a way that seemed way out of character. "Fuck me.. Please... Fuck me!" So, well I did as I was told. It was an awkward position really, i couldn't quite kneel, and couldn't quite stand. so I just had to bend my knees. She was panting heavily. "Please.. Do it!" And I obeyed, lowering myself a little, and rubbing my cock, which was dripping wet with her saliva and my cock, against her pussy. She was wet and slippery, but I still had trouble getting my cock into the right position. "Yes... yes.." She said, as if I had started fucking already. But I wasn't even in yet. I finally found where I was meant to go and started to push in.
"Ow.." she whimpered. I tried to push into her cunt, but it seemed really tight. Almost like there was something in the way. "Ow.. Ow... Ow.... Stop!" she whimpered. Pushing a little, I realized what was wrong. She was a virgin. Obviously the RIGHT thing to do woulda been to go POW and shred her hymen into, well.. shreds. But I really like her, so I stopped. "I'm sorry." I said softly. "No it's okay," she replied. "It just hurt a lot. And... and... I kinda want to stay a virgin." I lowered my head again, I didn't want to take that away from her. "I'm sorry.." She lifted my chin up with her hand, and said "You know what I do at home? I like to put things in.. you know.. the other hole. Why not try it there." I was shocked. Even after having her literally shit in my hand, I was still shocked. "But.. but.. you just shat!" "Yeah," she replied "It feels better that way! Please. Fuck me in the ass!" I was stunned, but instinctually nodded my head.
She actually moved with stunning speed, getting up from the seat, without even wiping her ass, and turned around, kneeling on the cold tiles. She leant her arms on the toilet seat, her head above the bowl, her hair almost hanging into the toilet. She raised her ass to me, and the sight i saw was just unbelievable. The most beautifully shaped and sized ass right in front of me, her ass crack smeared in shit, her asshole literally puckering in participation. The smell was mind boggling. Driving by animalistic desire, I did as she said, and gripped her hips with my hands, and leant forward to bury my cock in her ass. Of course, I missed slightly. Moved back a bit and tried again, using one hand to guide my cock. I was new at this! I felt my cock rub against her wet asshole. It felt amazing and warm. I pushed a little, and she let out a long moan. She pushed back against me and I felt her ass open up for me as the head of my cock sank into her. I pushed harder and she went "Oof!" as my cock slowly slid deeper.
She groaned and mewed and purred and started to push back hard on my cock. "Oh my god that feels so good." I said to her. Whether or not anyone could hear us, or smell us was no longer of concern. Her response was a grunt, as I finally sheathed my whole length into her shitter. But then I felt something warm against my balls, as well as something splashing against my feet. I pulled myself out a bit and looked down. She was pissing. She was pissing on me as I fucked her ass. It was even more of a turn on. "That's so fucking hot." I said, trying to sound sexy, but I probably sounded retarded. "Mmmhmm was her only response as she pushed back against my cock again. We began to build a but of a rhythm, my cock sliding smoothly in and out as her warm piss ran down out legs. I thought I was going to come again. But then she stopped moving. I looked as her face, which was downturned looking into the bowl. She was panting, and then I saw her cringe in effort. What I felt against my cock alerted me to what she was doing.
She was shitting against my cock. It felt warm and smooth, and I could feel her muscles pushing against me, as if they were trying to push me out. So I thrust in deeper, the head of my cock pushing into her warm shit. She gasped and groaned loudly. I let her push me out a bit, and then rammed myself back in, and started doing that over and over. Each time the shit slowly pushed around my cock. Going at a slow steady rhythm, she grunted with each thrust. I looked down as her shit started to push out of her ass and around my cock. It was all too much for me, and I knew I was about to come. So to make the most of the situation, I started to thrust as hard and as fast as I could. Her moans got increasingly louder. She seemed to be loving it. Or I was killing her. It could have been either. Piss and shit was dripping on my feet and mess was going everywhere, and I threw my head back and came in her ass. Shooting warm globules of seed directly into her fecal matter.
Hmm.. well.. I'm a bad story writer, so lets say those other girls tripped into a bowl of black holes and their atoms were scattered into other dimensions.
But anyways. Finished cumming in her ass. And she got scared and said you're moving in with you're uncle and auntie, etc, etc, etc.
Rambling cluster of retarded stories thread
|This Week in Racing|
Thursday 8:30 PM ET
Wednesday 8:30 PM ET
4th annual Indianapolis 500k
Sunday 7:30 PM ET